October 9th 2005... Where has the past year gone? Yes, there were months when time seemed to be at a standstill and I wasn't sure that I'd ever get the hang of parenting two kids but for the most part I look over the past 12 months and ask that same question over and over again. Where has the time GONE?

Leo will likely be my last baby - there I've said it; so I've been savoring his babyhood even more than I did with Clara's. Every first of his, is a last of mine... first bite of food off a spoon - last time I exclusively nourish my baby, first tooth - last gummy smile, you get the idea.

Leo's first year has been thrilling; it was scary, exciting, funny, frustrating, and oh so emotional. As far as babies go Leo has been relatively easy. As an infant, as long as I was willing to keep him close and nurse when he wanted he was happy. There were many late evenings with him in the pouch while I swayed in the dark livingroom but those moments were so different from the late nights with baby Clara... Instead of wondering "will he ever sleep through the night, am I ruining him with this kangaroo care" I was content (well, relatively) knowing that this was a phase and he would get through it and that yes, eventually he would sleep longer periods away from my beating heart - just not yet.

At one year old Leo is not what most would consider a champion sleeper, he still needs a warm body snuggled up with him during the wee hours of the morning but he does sleep alone for several hours in the evening. Our nighttime routine is this; change into pyjamas, read several stories, nurse, and rock to sleep (not in arms mind you, but in his stroller!). Depending on the day the routine can last as much as an hour or as little as 10 minutes.

Watching Leo grow up this year has been a completely wild expereince. He went from a helpless baby, to an infant that light up when his big sister put her face in front of his, to a baby who played and followed big sis around, to an almost-toddler who not only follows Clara but is very capable of getting into fights and stand-offs with her too! Can you tell what a huge influence Clara has had on Leo? He seems so in love with her and it has been this way since the very beginning. Leo would ONLY laugh for Clara for several months, nothing Marc or I could do would get more than a drooly smile. As he got older, Leo could sit and play contentedly on the floor if Clara was close by playing as well. And, now that Clara is in school two days a week he obviously misses her. He looks around the condo for her when he wakes from his naps calling "Ca". Of course Leo loves Papa and Mama too, we know this from the head butting, open-mouthed kisses we both receive daily!

As much of an adventure these past 12 months have been I forsee many more adventures in the future. Leo will continue to be my "baby" and he will continue to grow and learn and laugh and love. What more can a mamma want on her son's first birthday? I've got a beautiful, healthy, loving, sweet little guy to enjoy and there is nothing more exciting for me than to see what the future holds for him.